he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
