Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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