just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Edward fifth and chaser hands
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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