The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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