I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Tornado booty call.. dedication
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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