Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
should my penis look like a turkey
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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