it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
