May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
