Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
home. puking in laundry basket.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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