Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
