i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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