mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
