she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
