is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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