I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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