His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
