You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
