So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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