I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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