so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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