hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
