He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
