great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
