Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I need to sanitize my soul.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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