I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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