Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
