One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
