Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
