Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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