I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
