are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
