we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Are we still banned from the library?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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