On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
