we're chasing vodka with high fives
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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