he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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