thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
