Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
