she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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