My brain says no but my pants say off.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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