We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
