i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
