sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
