So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
