I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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