If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
