i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
try to milk me bitch
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
