some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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