I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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