So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
