Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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