I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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