thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
