I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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