I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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