GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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