...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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