happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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