thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
