Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
