you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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