Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize