If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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