How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
