porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
babies were throwing up all over the place
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
