Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
