I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
