he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
